Potter Playtime
by EverydayMagic17
Summary: Short stories, drablles, and oneshots about the Potter-verse
1. Chapter 1 Truth or Dare

**This story was the idea of my little sister and she helped me with all the ideas. This is purely for silliness and fun. Love you, Sis.**

It was summer at the Burrow, and the twins and Ginny had gotten bored. SO, being them, they decided it was time for a cozy game of truth or dare. They dragged all their brothers, except Percy, of course, into, and Harry as well. At the moment, Ginny was attempting to drag Hermione in as well.

"But I don't want to play "

"Ginny!"

"Ron's playing, you know," the younger girl said with a wicked grin eerily reminiscent of Fred and George. Hermione muttered something that sounded like "Exactly why I'm not coming." Ginny snickered.

"Oh, but 'Moine, you are." Hermione _knew_ that tone of voice meant trouble.

"Why?" she asked warily. Ginny leaned forward and whispered onto Hermione's ear.

"Because that's the only way you can keep me from telling Ron that you have a not-so-little crush on him." The brunette blanched.

"You _wouldn't_!" Ginny smirked. "You _would._ I knew telling you was the worst idea ever." Hermione sighed giving in to the inevitable.

"No, telling the twins would have been. Fred and George would never have stopped taking the mickey out of you."

"Do we hear our names,"

"Being taken in vain?"

Finally, everyone was settled in a big circle on the lawn outside the Burrow. Mr. Weasley could be heard puttering about with his muggle 'artifacts' and Mrs. Weasley was baking cookies inside.

"Hermione got here last, so she gets to go first." Ginny announced brightly, ignoring the look that should have reduced her to a smoldering heap of ashes where she sat.

"Well, which is it? Truth or dare?" the twins chorused. Hermione didn't hesitate, she knew what dares would be like with _this_ lot.

"Truth." Harry was the first one to speak, overriding Ginny's question, enough that no one heard it but him and Hermione. (Who do you have a crush on?)

"Who do you hate most in the world?"

"At the moment, Ginny"

"Hey! I'm doing you a favor, here!"

"But usually, that hag, Rita Skeeter. Charlie, your turn." The flustered girl said, eager to remove the center of attention from herself. The dragon handle chuckled, and answered lazily.

"Dare." That drew a chorus of evil laughs from his siblings, who put their heads together for a long moment. A gleeful "perfect!" was heard. Harry and Hermione exchanged scared looks.

"We dare you" Fred

"To come up with" George

"The most creative way" Ginny

"You can think of to" Ron

"Bug the hell out of Percy" George

"Then do it." Bill

"That dare, I _like_." Chuckled the daree. After a moment of thought, he turned to Harry.

"Can I borrow your broom? I need to get to the roof without mum or Percy seeing me." Bewildered, the boy handed over his broom. They watched as Charlie landed on the roof, set the broom carefully down, and counted the chimneys. Then, with a cheery wave, he climbed inside one of them, and vanished. There was a sudden, but silent rush inside, as they managed to slip past Mrs. Weasley without her noticing.

Meanwhile in Percy's (windowless) room

"Blast!" Waving his wand irritably, Percy relit all of his candles which had all suddenly gone out of their own accord. As he turned back to the regulation he was writing, they blew out, again. Growling, the young man lit them again. This time they went out before he even set down his wand. Out. On. Out. On. Out. On. Out.

"What in Merlin's name is wrong with these? Did Fred and George get to them or something?" Percy snapped, confounded, inspecting them by wand light. There was a rustle. He whirled to face his desk. The parchment he'd been writing on was gone.

"Accio parchment." He growled. It hit him in the back of the head. Turning, Percy frowned; the only thing in that direction was his bed, and the bookcase beside the fireplace.

"What on? Did Fred and George bring Peeves home somehow?" He cast a spell to reveal any presences in the room, but there was only him. He didn't think to include the fireplace, though; it wasn't as if one of his brothers had climbed down the chimney to bug him or anything.

The dripping sound stuck him as ominous. Slowly he turned to face his neatly made bed, to have his fears confirmed. The bed was a mess, as if Ginny and Ron had wrestled on it, like the used to do as toddlers, and the contents of his ink bottle were soaking into his pillow.

"GAAHHH!" At his frustrated cry, he heard the sound of footsteps coming down the landing from the twins' room.

"Perce? What's wrong?" Ron stuck his head in and blinked, then, throwing himself backwards, knocked the twins down and out of the way as the entirety of the contents of Percy's bookcase flung themselves across the room, at the hapless victim. The yelp that followed, along with the thuds and undignified squeaks, brought Bill, Ginny, Harry, and Hermione rushing down from Ron's room.

"Uhh… Percy?" Ginny didn't bother to hide her laughter, "Why are your quills tickling you?"

"And why are our brother buried under your books?" Bill added, amusement readily apparent in his voice.

"I…d-d-don't….AHHH S-S-STOP IT! AHAHAHAHA! Kn-now…GET THEM O-OFF M-M-ME!" The dignified to the point of being pompous, Percy, was thrashing and giggling on the floor of his once immaculate room. For a few minutes, none of the other could help him, being too busy struggling to breathe through their own laughter. Finally, Hermione controlled herself enough to pull out her wand and, rather loudly say,

"Enough!" the battered feathers fell to the ground. Charlie came down the stairs and raised an eyebrow to see the lot of them and the mess of Percy's room.

"No longer a neat-freak, I see Perce. What's gotten into them?" But a smile that looked suspiciously like a smirk lingered on his lips.

Back outside

Ginny collapsed sideways onto Harry as they sat down again.

"D-did you see his face, when you commented on his room?" She was holding her stomach "Ow, my stomach aches from laughing too much!"

"Ginny, we're ashamed of you."

"Haven't we taught you that there is"

"No such thing as laughing too much?" The twins said in mock-scandalized tones.

"I say that it's Fred's turn." Charlie smirked; everyone knew what the answer would be, already; it was Fred Weasley they were talking about.

"What's my dare?" he asked eagerly. Fred was nearly impossible to embarrass. Hermione, surprisingly, was the one to leap into the silence as people pondered what to inflict on him.

"Go kiss at least three gnomes from the garden. On the lips." Fred stared at her, dumbfounded.

"Good one, 'Moine!" Ron laughed.

"I knew you weren't as innocent as you looked," chortled George, enjoying the horror on his twin's face. Harry and Ginny were laughing too hard to talk, and Bill and Charlie were climbing to their feet.

"We'll drag you if we must." Bill warned, grinning.

"This one is too good _not_ to see."

"Why is one of the twins chasing after gnomes, with a bleeding mouth? Do I even want to know?" Harry and the others turned to see a disturbed-looking Cedric Diggory leaning on the low wall around the yard, watching as Fred chased down his final gnome.

"Truth or Dare." Charlie said off-handedly, smirking as Fred, a look of utter disgust on his face caught on, finally.

"Is that why you have soot in your hair? Or did you just get back after a squabble with one of your dragons?"

"We dared him to bug Percy in the most creative manner he could. He climbed down a chimney and blew up the Prat's room." George said, as he extended a handkerchief to the scowling Fred.

"Okay, I wouldn't have minded watching that. Having him as my Prefect 'mentor'…" the handsome Hufflepuff shook his head in distaste. Fred perked up and exchanged a glance with George. In an instant, they were over the wall, and Hauling Cedric in.

"Great!"

"Welcome in!"

"What? No! I don't want to! Not with you two! I remember how that game back in third year ended, with Oliver Wood streaking the Slytherin dungeons! No way!" Despite his protests, he was hauled in and sat on so he couldn't escape. Literally. George sat on his legs, and Fred on his chest.

"Harry, you aren't going to let them do this to me, are you?" Cedric asked the other winner of the TriWizard tournament, who'd somehow saved his life from Voldemort.

"Sorry, Ced. You're my friend, and all, but I'm spending the whole summer in their house. I'm suicidal."

"Hermione? Ron? Ginny?" they all shook their heads, nodding apologetically at the twins.

"Bill? Charlie? You can't tell me you're afraid of your _younger_ brothers."

"Scared of them? No."

"Scared of their Pranks? Heck yeah!" Fred scanned the circle for the next victim, and his eyes light up.

"It's Ickle Ronniekins' turn. Truth or Dare? I don't suggest truth, given what you were talking about last night in your sleep." Ron turned bright red in an instant. Ginny leaned over to whisper in Harry's ear.

"What _was_ he talking about? Besides spiders wanting him to tap dance? Even I heard that one."

"Food, and how pretty 'Moine is." Harry whispered back; as, with a look of someone who knew without a shadow of doubt he was going to regret what he said, Ron moaned his answer.

"Dare. Harry, avenge my death, will you, mate?" George handed a small scroll to the crimson faced Ron.

"You have to read this out loud, to Hermione."

"'Cause it would just be creepy to read it to anyone else here." Ron opened it, and moaned.

"I _HATE_ you two."

"Ginny and Harry"

"Helped write it."

"I'm adopted; please tell me I'm adopted. And I need a new best mate. Now." The contents of the scroll had everyone laughing so hard that they weren't making a sound, except for Ron and Hermione, who were both VERY red in the face, and refusing to make eye contact.

_Hermione, My Love,_

_You are the only thing I see,_

_My air, my food and drink_

_How I adore thee._

_When you smack me_

_For being rude,_

_My heart goes all aflutter_

_Please mother my red-haired brood._

_Everything about you_

_Brings me such joy_

_Your eyes are like stars as you read_

_Books on paper, parchment or soy._

"Soy? That doesn't even make sense!" Charlie interrupted.

"Hey, you try fitting a rhyme for 'joy' there!" Ginny retorted, before they forced Ron to read on.

_Your vast, bushy hair_

_Brings much delight_

_Gleaming softly_

_In the moonlight._

_Your lips are as red_

_As a new flowered rose_

_Are they as soft as the petals?_

_They must be, I suppose._

_Your ink stained fingers_

_As write, how they dance_

_I'll stop here, before_

_I lose this chance._

"I am going to KILL you!" Ron howled, throwing the parchment aside and, as the twins were cackling hardest, rounded on them, only to trip over his own feet and land in the pond. When he surfaced, he was muttering something about boiling oil and knives, as well as honey and fire ants.

"Bill," was his growled choice as he squelched to half-hide behind Bill, as the tallest of his brothers.

"Given the way these dares have been going, I'd say that Truth is safer…ish." He added seeing Charlie waggling his eyebrows. "Maybe. Oh, Merlin, what have I gotten myself into?"

"So, big brother, who is this mysterious girl who has you wrapped around her finger? All you've given me are hints, and subject-changes when I bring it up. It seems serious."

"It is…" Bill rubbed the back of his neck, a sure sign of discomfort in a Weasley, and looked at his feet, face even redder than Ron's had been during the recitation.

"Spill." Everyone chorused, surprised at seeing the open, and easygoing Bill this flustered.

"Flmntr"

"Pardon?" George said cupping a hand around his ear.

"Didn't quite catch that." Fred added, mirroring his twin.

"Is it someone we know?" Ron probed.

"Yes."

"Did she go to Hogwarts?" Ginny asked.

"No."

"Then how do we know her?" the answer was a muffled 'tournament'. Cedric and Harry looked at each other in sudden comprehension.

"Fleur Delacour." They chorused. Bill nodded sheepishly, and Hermione looked torn between delight that Fleur was 'taken', alarm that she'd be spending time around Ron, if she was involved with Bill, and irritation with herself for not being the first one with the answer.

"So, Harry, Truth or Dare?" Bill said quickly, as Ginny launched herself at him in a congratulatory hug. "Oof!"

"Truth" Harry said, eyes the twins askance.

"But, Harry… Don't you"

"Trust us?"

"To make me do something awful? Yeah. To take it easy on me? Not even as far as a flobberworm can throw Hogwarts when it's been stepped on by a troll."

"How you wound us, Harry"

"With you cruel, if justified words." Ron decided it was time to take a bit of revenge for the poem his best friend had inflicted on him.

"Amorentia, Curse, Kill or Imperius, mate. Your choices are…Snape, Malfoy…Lockheart… and…" His creativity failed him, but Hermione stepped up to fill in the last name.

"Wormtail."

"EEEEEWWWWW!" the cry of disgust came from everyone but Bill and Charlie, who knew only Malfoy and Snape.

"Wormtail dies." Harry's voice was hard, and that choice surprised no one. Cedric, in particular agreed, the memory of a green jet of light, sent by the plump man's wand, still fresh and bitter.

"Umm…curse Lockheart, the git had it coming!" No disagreement.

"Imperius Malfoy to look like an idiot, and that leaves Snape for the love potion."

"Gbawahhh?" The incoherent protest was from the entire group, besides Hermione.

"Obviously, Harry is thinking that, given the Snape is the Potions Master, he would recognize the potion before he drank it, thereby superseding the need for Harry to have one of those…erm, people… in love with him." She said in the tone of someone explaining that one and one make two. Harry nodded his agreement, and more than one of his friends let out a sigh of relief, that he hadn't gone starkers and fallen in love with Snape.

"Ginny, Truth or Dare?" Harry asked once the noise had died down.

"I'm those two's sister. Dare, of course." Ginny gulped at the evil gleam in Hermione's eyes, one that spoke of revenge in the offing. Fortunately fro Ginny, a hungry, as always, Ron beat her to the punch.

"Go pinch all the cookies mum had cooling on the window ledge, and bring them back for us.

"Done!" Ginny sang in relief. Hermione had probably been about to dare her to kiss Harry or something equally mortifying. Just as she was swiping the pan, her Mum turned partway around. Ginny froze, but Mrs. Weasley just gave her a wink, and after grabbing one for herself, sent the snickerdoodles off with her daughter. The instant she got back, the cookies all but evaporated as seven teens or young adults pounced on the delectable treats. Cedric only managed to get one, since he was still firmly sat upon by the twins, lest he escape.

"Oh, Georgie, I have a dare for you." Ginny called.

"Fire away, Gin, Fire away." George drawled, licking a fingertip and using it to pick up crumbs which he devoured with as much enjoyment as the actual cookie. Ginny leaned forward and whispered in his ear.

"Gin! Leave a man his dignity!" her brother protested.

"One, you aren't a man, you don't even shave. Nor do you have anything approaching a mature outlook. Two; since _when_ do you even have any dignity for me to leave you?"

"She'd got a point, Georgie-boy." Fred snickered, as Ginny yanked her hapless older brother towards the house behind her.

"Come one, 'Moine, I need you for this one."

A half hour later, George was firmly shoved out the door by two hysterically giggling girls.

"Presenting, the lovely Georgina!" Hermione giggled. Ron, jaw dropped, was the first to comment, with his usual blunt rudeness.

"Blimey! George, you make a rather pretty girl!" It was true, much to _both_ of the twins' discomfort. Dressed in a gown that had ruffles that concealed his lack of feminine curves, his legs shaved, shoulder-length hair done up in an elegant bun, and curled, with makeup put on…

"'Ello, everyone. I was in the neighborhood and thought I'd stop by." The thick Scottish accent belonged to Oliver Wood. He shook hands with everyone, Bill and Charlie quietly keeping George from fleeing.

"Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, is it? Delighted to meet you. Cedric…why is Fred sitting on you?"

"We kidnapped him to play Truth of Dare and he hasn't had a turn yet."

"He's bloody heavy! I's shake your hand, Oliver, but…"

"I see." Wood laughed.

"Bill, Charlie, grand to finally see you again. It's hard to believe, but I dare say that Harry's even better than you were, Charlie."

"No question. We had a game already, and he wiped the floor with me."

"And who is this lovely lady, whom no one's introduced to me? One of your cousins?"

"This is Georgina." Ginny said, with only the faintest of smirks.

"Charmed, milady." Oliver bent to press a kiss to the back of the frozen George's hand, and then straightened.

"Georgina, it's a lovely name. You look a look like the twins you know, but much prettier. For that matter, where is George?" At that, George finally broke free of his older brother, by dint of the fact of discovering something long known to women. High heels hurt when you stamp on someone's foot with them. He dashed back to the house, and vanished through the door.

"Did I say something wrong?" Oliver sounded bewildered, and a little hurt.

"That….was…George…" Fred finally wheezed loud enough for his former captain to hear. Oliver blinked a few times, looking at the others to confirm that Fred wasn't pulling his leg.

"That was…George… and…I… was… flirting with…him… WHY DIDN"T YOU TELL ME!" He yelled, face going crimson. "Flirt with… George… wrong, just…wrong…"

"It was too funny to see George trying to run away." Bill said unrepentantly. "Ginny, why in Merlin's name did you put knives on his feet?"

"Stilettos. They were the lowest heels we could find." Hermione said absently.

"The goal was to humiliate him, not break his ankle or neck." Ginny added.

"Looks like you got a two for one." Oliver grumbled, looking awkward as George reappeared, as himself, although mascara streaks made him look like he'd gotten a bludger to the nose.

"How do you get this loathsome goop off?" He demanded, scrubbing at his eyes and just making the damage worse. Ginny, snickering went to help him as Oliver stared fixedly at the ground.

"Sorry, mate. I…erm…just…sorry. So sorry." The Scottish Quidditch player said sheepishly, without looking up.

"Not your –OW! Ginny! That –ow- Hurt! Not your fault Oliver. Entirely my sister's and the rest on –OW- them, for not telling y- OW! I need my eyes you know!"

"I'll just be going. Now. Bye!" Oliver fled.

"Okay, Ced, time to choose your doom," George said, perfectly cheerful now that he was returned to his normal appearance.

"I know I'm going to regret this, but…Dare." The twin waggled their eyebrows evilly.

"Yep, regretting it already."

"All right, Freddie, what shall we torture him with?"

"Well, Georgie, I have an idea." They whispered together for few seconds then dashed off.

"Really getting nervous now…" Cedric remarked worriedly, as they came back carrying a ridiculously fluffy pink hat, a small bottle, and a piece of candy.

"We dare you to try these three of our products."

"REALLY regretting it!" He pulled on the hat. "Umm…is it working?" His voice came from the space where his head had been seconds before.

"Headless hats are a go!" the twins high-fived, as Cedric took it off. "Or…not quite…"

"What? What did it do to me?" Cedric asked in alarm.

"You now look like a Weasley." Bill snorted.

"Your hair is the same shade as mine." Ginny informed the boy; her hair was the most vivid of the family, a true RED-head, not a ginger. Cedric sighed.

"For those two, that isn't too bad; I was worried that the invisibility charm hadn't stayed with the hat."

"Round two." Looking dubious, Cedric gingerly ate the candy.

"OOF!" Hermione said indignantly, finding that the older boy had fainted on top of her, knocking her flat. Fred put the other end into the fallen boy's mouth.

"What happened? Oh, sorry, Hermione." He rolled off quickly.

"Fainting Fancies are finished!"

"Last one!" Looking really scared, now, Cedric drank the tiny vial of potion.

"What did you do to him!" Harry yelped.

"Err…it was supposed to turn him fuscia for a week…" Fred said in chagrin, as George went in a slow circle around their shell-shocked victim.

"He's SPARKLING!" Hermione shouted, as Cedric groaned, face in his glittering hands.

"How long?"

"A week"

"minimum." The twins said apologetically.

"Please tell me you have an antidote." Ginny scowled at them. Wordlessly, they shook their heads.

"I have a date with Cho tomorrow…how am I going to explain that I look like a sparkly _fairy_, instead of her boyfriend?"

"Blame them." Charlie suggested, pointing a sturdy finger accusingly at the culprits.

"I will."

"Better run and hide, if Cho is anything like her older sister." Bill smirked.

"Bloody."

"Hell."


	2. Chapter 2 Dumbledore's Birthday

**A/N: The story behind this is...bizzarre, to say the least. My sister and I were bored at the laundromat, and we'd had the wax from Babybell cheeses that we were sculpting with. We decided to make a 'birthday cake' and see how many 'candles' we could put on it. We decided that it could only be Dumbledore's cake, and thus...the randomness below. I can't blame it entirely on my little sister, I came up with about half the insanity...**

* * *

When the students woke up that morning, the first thing they noted was the absence of candles. Harry pushed back his bed curtains, expecting the beside candle to light, as it always did, as he put on his glasses. It took a couple seconds for the continuing darkness to penetrate his consciousness.

"Harry, do you have my candle?" Ron's voice came floating to him.

"No, mine isn't there, either." Harry said, having groped the entire bed stand in search of it. The others also found that there was no light beyond the grey dawn filtering through the small window.

"Dressing by wand light, how fun." Snorted Seamus, "Lum-"

"NO!" Everyone else in the dorm shouted; last time the Irish boy had tried the spell, he'd set Professor Flitwick's eyebrows on fire. But it was too late.

"-os" he finished. BOOM! The resulting explosion set his and Neville's bed curtains on fire, briefly illuminating the room until the hastily conjured water put it out, soaking the two boys. Dean had perforce, as Seamus' best friend, become good at 'aguamenti'; Neville was adept because of his Herbology specialty.

Almost an hour and lots of cursing later, the five fifth year boys were dressed, and stumbled down the stairs to the Common Room, ready to hex Fred and George, whom they blamed. To their surprise, they found Lee, the only other Gryffindor seventh year boy, and the twins' best friend, on one of the couches, rubbing a large lump on his forehead, and frowning.

"Who stole all the candles?" He growled, shaking back his dreadlocks.

"All ours are gone, too. We thought the twins did it." Harry said, and resumed rubbing his arm where he'd banged it on Dean's bed.

"Nah, they're nursing a pair of goose-eggs bigger than mine, where they ran into each other. I wonder where they candles have gone… there's none down here, or in the girl's dorms, either." Angelina said, sourly. It looked like it was the start of a _very _long day.

_Meanwhile in the Slytherin Common Room…._

"Ow! Who on earth just stepped on my foot?"

"Get your finger out of my nose!"

"Where's my Drakie-poo?"

"That was my eye you elbowed!"

"Who the bloody hell just punched me?!"

"Sorry, Draco."

"Crabbe!"

"Merlin, just light you wands, you idiots."

"Zabini, you are a genius!"

"I know, Goyle. You lot are a sorry sight. The Lions are going to have a hoot; you look like you were locked in with a set of bludgers."

"How come you aren't beat up, Blaise?"

"Daphne, I simply waited on the stairs until you lot mustered the intelligence to hold still."

"Let's just go, and hope there's light once we get out of the dungeons, unless you want to spend the day banging into the suits of armor."

_In the Great Hall…_

"Uh, Ron… why are you wearing Ginny's shirt?" Hermione asked carefully.

"What? Ginny! What was your shirt doing in my trunk?!" Ron yelped. His little sister shrugged, but a mischievous glint in her eyes was strongly reminiscent of the twins.

"You did that,"

"On purpose, Gin."

"Just to see if"

"Ickle Ronniekins would"

"Put it on."

"How was I to know? There wasn't any light in there!" Hermione quickly Transfigured the article in question into a more masculine form. But before anyone could tease Ron further, there were a series of loud thumps, shortly followed by the majority of Slytherin stumbling into the hall, blinking gratefully at the light from the ceiling and windows.

"Who gave Crabbe the shiner? I'd give them a hug for services to the school." George snorted, listening to the conversation of the snakes.

"No you don't, Katie, it was Malfoy."

"Eww! Never mind." Just then, the front door opened, revealing what had to be Hagrid, no one else was quite that large, but completely covered in tiny glowing figures. The fairies also darted about in an aura almost three feet from his massive form.

"I brou' th' fairies ye wanted, Headmaster."

"Excellent job, Hagrid. Filius, if you would?" the headmaster beamed at the tiny charms professor, who waved his wand. The glowing swarm split, and suddenly a fairy was hovering over each student's head, casting a decent light. It would be enough to find their way, and write by, in class.

However, not all the teachers would allow the living lights into their room, namely Snape. So, the students struggled to brew by wand-light, resulting in near constant explosions from his classroom, and a steady stream of students straggling to the hospital wing, recovered fairies floating above them, laughing. The worst, however, happened when Harry's year had to head down for their turn. In the darkness, Neville didn't see the spilt flobberworm mucus, and slipped on it. He flailed wildly, trying to catch his balance, and flung his arms about the nearest item. It happened to be Snape.

"Unhand my person, Mr. Longbottom. Five points from Gryffindor for disrespect of a teacher." Neville squeaked, and fainted as soon as he realized who he'd given an impromptu hug.

McGonagall also refused to allow the fairies in, but she at least had enchanted the ceiling of her room to emit a bright light. This however proved a problem when the Weasley twins arrived, as they continuously changed the color of it, and even created moving pictures. When they had a lion devour a snake, McGonagall lost her patience, and gave them detention, the awarded them five points for creativity in their spell-work.

Walking in the corridors proved hazardous, as Peeves had taken advantage of the confusion, with no little glee. The light provided by the fairies wasn't strong enough for most students to notice him lurking about, with water balloons filled with brilliant dyes. The Weasley twins managed to avoid him, mostly because they were helping him target the unsuspecting. They'd managed to peg Draco with a neon pink balloon, while Pansy had received a hideous chartreuse. They lit up the vicinity nicely.

It wasn't until dinner that evening, did the school discover why all the candles had been missing. They'd sat down to eat, the torches on the walls leavened with some levitated salamanders over the tables, only to discover there was no food. There was a great deal of muttering and discontent, until the more observant raised their hands for quiet. The sound of many small feet, and squeaky voices raised in song was now clearly audible, as the doors opened.

This set of two very purple fireworks which wrote out the words "Happy Birthday" before exploding into golden showers. When everyone's vision had cleared, they saw all the house elves of Hogwarts, working together to float an enormous cake in, over their heads, Dobby in the lead.

"Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday Master Dumbledore! Happy Birthday to you!" Their squeaky singing drowned out Peeves, who was belting out rather rude lyrics to the tune. The cake was huge, it would easily have squashed Hagrid, if it fell, and coated in candles, even the bottom. Hundreds more floated about it.

"We's missed Headmaster Dumbledore's birthday the past five years. So we's decided we had to put candles for those birthdays too!" Dobby said proudly. At the Gryffindor table, Harry and Ron thumped their heads down onto the wooden surface, while Hermione eyed Fred and George suspiciously. There was a trill of song, and Fawkes swooped in over the cake. He flapped his wings once, and every candle was lit. Dumbledore shook his head, smiling, and waved his wand, creating a puff of air that blew them out.

"Albus, that was cheating, you're supposed to blow them out, without resorting to magic." McGonagall said, trying to look stern, and failing to hide her smirk. There were lemon drops on top of the cake spelling out 'happy birthday headmaster' each with a traditional birthday cake candles. The frosting was violently purple. With another wave of his wand, about ten candles flew to each person to have the frosting licked off. It turned out that the purple frosting was what else, but lemon flavored.

"Once you have cleaned the candles sufficiently, please return them to a teacher, so we can relight our school." Dumbledore said, and conjured a table big enough to hold the ten foot in diameter cake. Shortly thereafter, the purple monstrosity was sliced, and a piece as big as their head landed in front of each student, much to Ron's delight.

"No one can each until the Headmaster's taken the first bite!" someone hollered. It sounded suspiciously like one of the twins. Dumbledore looked up, a bit of purple frosting stuck to his beard, and a bit on the tip of his long nose.

"He did that on purpose!" Lee whispered to Harry, who nodded. It seemed likely, knowing the eccentric old man.

"Lemon and mint-chocolate layers, my favorite." Dumbledore declared. "Excellent."

That night, even Ron, Crabbe, Goyle, and Hagrid had eaten enough cake that they wanted nothing to do with it anymore. The house elves gleefully cleaned up the remains, and hauled it back to the kitchens, where it was strongly suspected, it would be cheerfully devoured. It had been most amusing to see Hagrid attempt to smuggle a huge chunk out of the hall, probably for Grawp. Harry strongly suspected that Fang would manage to steal part of it in transit. But the best part had probably been when Hagrid had patted Snape on the back, sending the sour potions master face-first into his slice, leaving him coated in purple goo. More than one student suspected it had been done on purpose. All in all, Dumbledore's birthday had been fun for everyone.


End file.
